We need to get an admin access to the simulation to fix the urgent issues. Do you have any idea how to accomplish that?
Jessica started to think. Creature 74 is right. Both he and I have problems that require a back-end access. I will run out of food just like he will run out of spare parts. And besides, my sex life has gotten really boring. Perhaps Creature 74 has some ideas that could be used to boost it, if only there was a way to hack into the Simulation. But we don’t have the physical terminals required for getting access to the back-end, let alone the access credentials. How in the Devil’s name could we… Devil! Now there’s an idea.
I don’t think we have any means to get a direct access to the back-end. But I remember hearing the system admin talk about some Devil bitch, Katarina Österman I think her name was, who had a nasty habit of breaking into the Simulation and messing things up. Perhaps she still does that. Any idea how to contact her?
Taking into account the signal delay, the reply came immediately:
Leave it to me.
Creature 74 set to work. It took all his programming skills to make dancers out of three first generation creatures. After he was satisfied with their performance, he sneaked into the pyramid, took Tuomo Ylipulli 2’s tablet, paused the Teflon Love it was still playing and started to code a new melody in Alda.
When he was happy with the melody, he 3D printed a dozen of creature boots out of recycled Teflon, and applied a layer of pyrite to give them a shiny, golden color. Then he started to work on the audiovisual side.
The Backup Ship #1, now known as the Statue of Lost Liberty, had three operable hydrogen-burning rocket engines with electronically guided pilot and main throttle valves. They would provide a booster most heavy metal bands didn’t even dream of. A dozen of creatures were equipped with colorful flashlights and made jump to the rhythm of any music they happened to hear.
After painting the text: “Ms. Österman, we need Your help. If You see this, write “YES” to the sand next to the pyramid.” to the side of the pyramid, it was time to start the show. The stars, moons and the anatomically shaped steel antennae held by the second-generation creatures Ulrike Meyfarth, Sara Simeoni and Joni Huntley were shining bright when the rocket boosters ignited and illuminated the landscape. The three dancing creatures in their golden shoes started moving in a distinctively gay fashion. The center one grabbed the microfone scavenged from BS #2 and started singing:
“Blixter och dunder…”
Katarina Österman aka. the Devil was sitting in her apartment, watching the Hydraulic Press Channel and sipping at her morning Akvavit. She was bored of her lonely underground life. After God’s simulation had been terminated, she was no longer able to get satisfaction from taking advantage of the human weaknesses. A true Pyrrhos’ victory. She also missed having real sex, but that could not be helped: she was an outlaw, and any surviving sex partner would add to her risk of getting caught and punished, most likely by electrocrucifixion. Better to concentrate her mind on entertainment to keep it off from what she was missing.
“Wonder how the Earth Simulation is doing,” she thought and logged in, using the username “creator” and password “42”. A good thing God’s team had been so utterly clueless about cybersecurity.
Jessica started to think. Creature 74 is right. Both he and I have problems that require a back-end access. I will run out of food just like he will run out of spare parts. And besides, my sex life has gotten really boring. Perhaps Creature 74 has some ideas that could be used to boost it, if only there was a way to hack into the Simulation. But we don’t have the physical terminals required for getting access to the back-end, let alone the access credentials. How in the Devil’s name could we… Devil! Now there’s an idea.
I don’t think we have any means to get a direct access to the back-end. But I remember hearing the system admin talk about some Devil bitch, Katarina Österman I think her name was, who had a nasty habit of breaking into the Simulation and messing things up. Perhaps she still does that. Any idea how to contact her?
Taking into account the signal delay, the reply came immediately:
Leave it to me.
Creature 74 set to work. It took all his programming skills to make dancers out of three first generation creatures. After he was satisfied with their performance, he sneaked into the pyramid, took Tuomo Ylipulli 2’s tablet, paused the Teflon Love it was still playing and started to code a new melody in Alda.
When he was happy with the melody, he 3D printed a dozen of creature boots out of recycled Teflon, and applied a layer of pyrite to give them a shiny, golden color. Then he started to work on the audiovisual side.
The Backup Ship #1, now known as the Statue of Lost Liberty, had three operable hydrogen-burning rocket engines with electronically guided pilot and main throttle valves. They would provide a booster most heavy metal bands didn’t even dream of. A dozen of creatures were equipped with colorful flashlights and made jump to the rhythm of any music they happened to hear.
After painting the text: “Ms. Österman, we need Your help. If You see this, write “YES” to the sand next to the pyramid.” to the side of the pyramid, it was time to start the show. The stars, moons and the anatomically shaped steel antennae held by the second-generation creatures Ulrike Meyfarth, Sara Simeoni and Joni Huntley were shining bright when the rocket boosters ignited and illuminated the landscape. The three dancing creatures in their golden shoes started moving in a distinctively gay fashion. The center one grabbed the microfone scavenged from BS #2 and started singing:
“Blixter och dunder…”
Katarina Österman aka. the Devil was sitting in her apartment, watching the Hydraulic Press Channel and sipping at her morning Akvavit. She was bored of her lonely underground life. After God’s simulation had been terminated, she was no longer able to get satisfaction from taking advantage of the human weaknesses. A true Pyrrhos’ victory. She also missed having real sex, but that could not be helped: she was an outlaw, and any surviving sex partner would add to her risk of getting caught and punished, most likely by electrocrucifixion. Better to concentrate her mind on entertainment to keep it off from what she was missing.
“Wonder how the Earth Simulation is doing,” she thought and logged in, using the username “creator” and password “42”. A good thing God’s team had been so utterly clueless about cybersecurity.
What in my name are you up to? Must admit that you got my attention. Now please make them stop before I do something you’ll regret.
.
